Oh, Mexico! My brother stayed over Monday night and we drove to the airport together Tuesday morning. Our flight took off at seven and we arrived in Cancun a little after ten. We then piled on a bus with a bunch of people staying at other resorts and the bus took us to our resort while dropping all the others off on the way. We were almost the last stop so the trip took two hours but we were actually about an hour south of Cancun. We stayed at the all inclusive Barcelo Maya in the Riviera Maya on the East side of Mexico. When we got to the resort it looked like paradise. Everything was open air without windows and the paved paths were like walking through the jungle. Before we even went to our rooms we hit the first little bar and we had our first drink together as a group. After we got situated in our room we met at the buffet to eat. The meals were all very good. They had tons of pretty much every kind of food you could want laid out and you could take what you wanted or have a chef make you pasta or quesadillas or some other things. The buffet also had a help yourself tequila and beer bar so I grabbed one of each for lunch. After lunch we spent the rest of the day exploring, drinking dirty monkeys, and soaking up the sun. That night we ate the buffet again and headed to the resort’s disco, Captain Morgan’s. Morgan’s was a big open air building with a huge pirate ship in the middle. By the bow of the ship was the dance floor and the DJ booth was in the hull. The bunch of us danced the night away and brought day one in paradise to an end. Wednesday was a mixed day for me. We started the day lounging but then we decided to play the four hole pitch and putt course they had at the resort. There was about five of us and the loser had to be the drink maiden. The game was free but you only got one ball and if you lost it it was two bucks. The course conveniently had a fence behind the holes and plenty of brush to lose a ball. We also played that you get one mulligan per hole but it wasn’t the normal mulligan rule, is anything normal with this crowd? The rule was if you can get to your ball in ten seconds and bring it back to your starting spot you could hit it again with your mulligan. If you run out of time or hit a ball over the fence it was a two stroke penalty. Golf was very fun and full of laughs. We all also learned that one of the hazards of the course was the fire ant hills. I, the one armed man, was dominating through three holes with a plus two, but then the last hole came around. I ended up in a bunker a hole over and getting out of a bunker with one hand is not easy. I ended up almost doubling my total strokes but still managed to not finish last because we had some pretty pathetic golfers there. That was my highlight of the day because after that I got sick and threw up practically every hour. The jury is still out on what happened. I got sunburned really badly that day so some think it might have been sun poisoning but I think it was the quesadilla de mariscos, translation, seafood quesadilla, translation, vomit inducer. That was my last seafood of the trip of course. After seven trips to the bathroom J got me some pepto so I chewed that up and went to bed. Thursday a group of about fourteen of us went snorkeling. I didn’t know how I would feel when I woke up but luckily it was only one night of crappiness. We left on a large catamaran on sailed about an hour and a half to the reef. The catamaran was tons of fun. For those who have never been on a catamaran the part you sit on is nothing more than a trampoline type of material stretched between two pontoons. There is no real protection from the water and we got plenty wet. Like everything in Mexico there was plenty of booze to go around. I skipped out on the booze due to my stomach but others were more than happy to drink my share. The captain and his helper did a good job dealing with the drunken gringos and they, like all the other resort workers, were more than friendly. Once at the reef we placed our camera in our scuba camera bag and did some snorkeling. It was great and we saw tons of fish, turtles and coral. After about forty-five minutes of snorkeling and picture taking we got back on the boat and headed back. The ride back was kind of cold and I was glad to get back to dry land. After that we all showered and got ready for a fun night in Cozumel. Cozumel is a 15 minute cab ride to Playa de Carmen and then a thirty-five minute ferry ride away. A van picked us up at our resort and drove us to PdC. I’ve been on the buses in Cancun but this guy on the highway was nuts. Everyone feared for their lives and we were all very happy to get out of that van. Thanks to some quick talking by my brother and some actual group organization we made the ferry with less than a minute to spare. Once in Cozumel we walked around a bit and made our way to Carlos n’ Charlie’s. A couple of us ate and a couple just sat at the bar. Cnc’s was fun because the crazy Mexicans kept on screwing with us. Fake cockroaches, feathers on straws, and melting your straws shut were some of there gags. After we finished eating we had a couple yards of frosty beverages. One of the girls in our group, Amy, won the limbo contest with ease. There was also a group of baseball players there but none of us recognized them so we had no idea if they were for real or not. A couple head shaking shots of tequila later it was time for me to go. The last ferry off the island is at ten so everyone had to be on that ferry or spend the night on the island. Trusting them to meet me there I took off a bit early. I went and bought a little statue and some vanilla and haggled with the locals, fun. I went back to the ferry and to my surprise everyone made it there. Somehow in the thirty minutes I was gone everyone managed to get completely trashed. So all the drunken gringos piled onto the ferry and then braved a crazy cab ride back to the hotel and safety. Once back at the hotel we went to Captain Morgan’s for some more jammin’ and free drinks. The tiredness set in pretty early for me and I called it a night. Friday was Craig’s big day, the wedding. Everyone had to be ready for pictures at four but that left seven hours of sun bathing and Miami Vice drinking (half strawberry daiquiri, half pina colada). If there is that much time for drinking you need a drink maiden so the men hit the links again. Once again hilarity ensued on the course. I finished towards the bottom but not last. The groom actually finished last but kept whining about how it was his day and he shouldn’t have to get any drinks, wa wa. So the rest of the afternoon we laid around and got each other drinks. We got ready for pictures then and the whole group got together and meandered around the resort taking pictures. We ended up on the beach at sunset and we got some really nice pictures. After pictures we went to the lobby and smoked some stogies, had a few beers and waited for eight to roll around. Once eight came around we made our way to the wedding setup on the beach. The setting was gorgeous with the water in the back and the moon out. The ceremony was very nice although I’ve never seen the attendants offered shots of tequila while waiting for the bride and groom. Once the ceremony was over we all had a glass of champagne on the beach. When I finished my glass I had to run back to the rooms to change cameras because my memory card was full. The stinking resort is so huge this is at least a twenty minute trek. Of course when I had got back I found out all the group pictures had been taken and I was left out. No worries I’ll Photoshop myself in later. Next we all headed to the reception hall. The reception was also very nice. We had a five course steak dinner and all the food was spectacular. There was tequila shots flying around everywhere and also a couple mystery flaming shots. It was fun and full of shenanigans. When dinner wrapped up Craig and Jackie had a CD that they brought to do all the typical dances. It’s a huge conspiracy and was planned out before the event but I caught the garter. I guess I’m next on the chopping block because I have now caught three in the last year, lucky I have a hot woman already, step one. So after the dancing we all mingled and smoked more stogies and drank more beer. A little later we all headed to Captain Morgan’s for more revelry and dancing. It was a great wedding! Congrats Craig and Jackie! Saturday was our last full day and we spent it like all the others. We had one last round of golf which I didn’t lose and that’s all that matters. Then we laid around with some drinks. My brother and his wife, Jocelyn and I did rent some water trikes to go pedaling on the water with. It was fun and the waves smacking into us and the lack of control of the things made for some laughs. We biked pretty far out and thought we should turn around and come back. When we were on our way back the waves seemed to toss us back out further and it felt like we were going nowhere but we finally made it back totally exhausted, fifteen minutes later. After that strenuous activity I headed back to the hammock for the day. That night we actually had different plans for dinner than the good old buffet. At the resort there are two nicer sit down restaurants and you get to go to one during your stay. We were all planning to go as a group but plans fell through and J and I got the only reservations that they had. The dinner was fine. I actually had almost the same thing I had the night before but there was less in terms of portions and courses. It was nice to have a quite dinner alone. When we got done with dinner we went to the theater they have and watched a bit of the show. J and I left early and took a walk on the beach and around the resort and called it a night. Sunday was our final day. We woke up and had breakfast. After that we had one last walk around and waited in the lobby for our bus. While in the lobby we camped out at the bar hoping to get one last shot of tequila but our bus came at five to nine and the bar opened at nine. So we hopped on the bus and headed to the airport. At the airport I hit up the duty free store for a couple nice bottles of tequila and a couple bottles of rum. We ten waited for our flight to take off which actually was about an hour late. Once we boarded though we made it home in one piece and we had a great time. Thanks to Craig and Jackie for the excuse to get away, congrats!