Get The Plate Number on that Conga Line?

Friday night we headed to Madison with Todd and Steph because we both had weddings to go to. We arrived at Graham’s on the West side about eight. We had a couple bloodies there and then did the Madison bar crawl of all our old hangouts. We got a small bite to eat at Johnny-O’s, then drank a Real Thing at the Red Shed, drank some stiffies at the hot as blazes Monday’s, cooled off at Brothers and ended up at faithful Church Key. After we finished our crawl we headed to our respective pizza joints and met up post grease for the ride home. We had our trusty CDL carrying driver Graham to take us home so we had no worries. Once we got in the car to go to Graham’s, T and Steph passed out cold. Once to Graham’s we tried to wake everyone up but Todd was straight passed out so he got to sleep in the car all night. I think he said he ended up waking up about five and actually coming in the house. Day one down.

Saturday we had our wedding. Angie Sampson got married to Nick Krey. The whole day was great. We went to the ceremony and it was very nice. We did learn later on the church was actually robbed the night before. The thieves didn’t do any damage to the main part of the church but they trashed the offices and took some computers. Someone was watching out for Angie and Nick because the thieves also left the dresses and tuxes behind. Once the ceremony was over I had a little party to go to that my buddy Tyler was throwing. I was in town and I would’ve felt bad if I didn’t pop in. So J and I went there for a drink and checked out Tyler’s pad in Verona. We had to leave after about an hour to meet up with the wedding at The Great Dane South. Once there we talked, played some Golden Tee, and a little shuffle puck. After a couple beers we all headed to the nights final destination, the Radisson on the West side. This really is the way to do a wedding. The reception and our hotel room were under the same roof. Once at the reception we did the normal wedding things. Ate a good dinner, drank some cocktails, danced and met some new people. I did have a traumatic experience at this wedding that will forever scar me. I had had a couple beers so I needed to use the lavatory. These were really nice spacious bathrooms and I happened to be the only one in there at the time so I was taking my time, enjoying the flow, when all of a sudden the door flies open and I see Jamie Thomas leading the conga line through the men’s bathroom while I’m doing my business. The surprised look on my face must’ve been priceless. I had my pants zipped up in 1/10th of a second and I was done. The only problem is I could move anywhere because I was trapped by the damn conga line. So finally the line passed me and I was able to get to the door. At this point everyone had already congaed by me once so I was a nice guy and held the door open for them, oh the humanity. The wedding went until about 12:30. After everything wound down we headed to the hotel bar where we thought everyone was going to be but apparently everyone went to bed after the wedding because we were the only ones in there. We spent the rest so the night conversing with a very funny, very openly gay bartender and listened to his stories. We also met some cool bike builder guys some South Carolina. We stayed there until bar time and then took the elevator home.

The Skipper Too… Was Wasted

Friday after work I went to state fair to do the whole eating thing. J picked me up and we parked outside of the grounds so we didn’t have to pay for parking. We got in to the fairgrounds for free too because you could use a Cubs v. Brewers ticket stub to get into the fair for free. Since we went to every Chub game we had a stockpile of free tickets so we got a couple for Deli and Steph and we met them at the fair. It was really crowded and we really didn’t do anything but eat. I had my pork chop sandwich (best food at the fair), a Swiss n’ rye, a big pickle, a couple glasses of flavored milk, and a couple ears of corn. We went into the main expo hall but I really didn’t feel like listening to all the Brits pitch their wonder mops. We also signed up for the dream home again so I have my fingers crossed on that one. We spent a majority of the night in the micro brew tent. They have different beers from the micro breweries in WI. If you kill a keg there you get a “keg killer” t-shirt with Paul Bunyan on it. J and I tried for about four hours to kill one last year but we didn’t get one. This year was different and she killed a keg on her second beer and received the coveted t-shirt. We hung out there until elevenish. My brother was there so it was a good time hand by all.

Saturday we took the Milwaukee microbrewery boat tour with Chad and Emily. For $18 you go to Rock Bottom, Lakefront, and the Milwaukee Ale House on a pontoon boat. The boat tour started at one at Rock Bottom. We had a good time sampling the brews and being stupid. A word of advice if you take the tour, don’t have the Ale House as your last stop. You only get one beer there and after having an unlimited source of brew up to this point it is tough to scale back to one beer an hour. Once we were done with the boat tour we headed back to my apt for a bit. After relaxing briefly we went over to Chappy’s apt and joined them for a cook out. I, being the manliest of all the men, took over the grill and cooked up the brats and chicken. We chowed down and played some darts. Chappy and his crew were going to hit up some of the bars but I didn’t feel like going out yet. So Chad, the girls and I headed back to my apt. We had some brews and watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD, funny stuff. Then Chad got a call from his brother Paul and he was at a house party just up the street from us. So we headed up there and spent the rest of the night there. It was a lot of fun being at a true house party again. We headed to Mykano’s at midnight, ate our gyro fry and called it a night.

It’s My Rheumatoid Arthritis

This weekend was very much a carbon copy of last weekend. I had the relaxing Friday followed up by the Saturday that more than made up for me staying in the night before. On Friday I was going to go out but after lounging around and getting comfy on the couch I decided that I was going to stay in and get some sleep.

Saturday I got together with a boat load of my friends and we played that wonderful childhood game, kickball. J was at Angie Sampson’s bridal shower in Madison so I was flying solo. Kickball was a good time except that instead of playing normal three outs rules we played the “everyone wins” rules. With these rules everyone in the line-up gets to kick once an inning and the first out after the last batter ends the inning. I hate these new fangled “Johnny needs as much time on field as Timmy” rules but the gym teacher we had on hand insisted playing by these rules. These bunk rules didn’t prevent any of us from having a good time. I was pitcher and my wicked spinner and medium bouncer were unkickable. Surprisingly nobody injured anything. I did injure a couple feelings with my unbelievable pitching. I did also hit one of the girls square in the face with a rocket that I threw trying to throw someone out. She really wasn’t playing attention and after the guy swerved out of the way the only thing that was there to stop it was her face, sorry Lauren! After kickball we headed over to the volleyball court where my team got their asses handed to them by the ringer team. They were in league and I was drunk so it wasn’t even close to fair. I headed home about 6:30 to catch COPS for the second consecutive week. I washed up and caught a quick nap. The only thing I shouldn’t have done during this time was woke up but my lunatic friends kept calling me and finally drug me out for an unnecessary night on the town. After a couple games of pres-ass at Lauren’s we went to Flannery’s and then to the Lodge. We did the normal bar stuff, the stand and drink, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Sunday was vicious on the legs and groin. All those muscles that have atrophied throughout the years got used to the extreme and the only way they could fight back was hurt. I still can’t walk normally but hopefully by next week’s post I’ll be back in my normal atrophied state.

No Strings Attached

This weekend I actually got to stay in Milwaukee and do whatever I wished. There was no Summerfest, baseball games, birthdays, concerts or anything else that I had to bind to. Friday I stayed in and built a computer for my parents. J and I kind of watched a movie while I drank a couple gin and tonics and built the computer. Nothing exciting but I got to sit at home for a change.

Saturday J and I went to the Milwaukee Ale House to see KB from WLKH play and watch the Brewer game. We sat and had some beers and watched the Crew get trounced by the Cincinnati. Then Luedke and Wians showed up and things took a turn for the worse, we started drinking at more of a rapid pace. I brought some cards along so we played some euchre and ordered some apps. We stayed there until about 6:30. At that time I had to run home and watch COPS which I haven’t seen in about two months. Once back at my place L, A and I played some cribbage, drank some stiffies, and watched the white trash get tasered. Everyone was having a good time until J threw me her phone and I missed it. The thing bounced off my hand into a glass of water. We tried to get it to work but the thing wouldn’t turn on so she was a little pissy for a couple hours, I can’t blame her but it really wasn’t my fault. Luedke tried to smooth over the situation with his anecdote on how he washed his phone and the thing finally turned on after couple days. When we finished up our final cribbage game we headed to Flannery’s for a couple drinks. We decided after a bit we needed a change of atmosphere and cheaper drinks so we went to My Office. We played a round of Golden Tee and hung out with our people, the downtrodden, outcasts who like cheap drinks. At oneish we headed to Mykano’s to top off the night with some gyros. Nothing beats the Sunday gyro mouth, that wonderful taste of cucumber sauce and onions that no matter how much you brush or gargle seems to stay with you. Another weekend over. For those of you wondering, Jocelyn’s phone started working again on Sunday a la Luedke’s experience and prediction, he truly is a guru.

Big Gig I

Well the ‘fest is here again. This year we took our Big Gig cards and headed down to the grounds on the opening Thursday. J and I went down there fairly early so we could get in for free. We thought that we were going to have four hours of boredom while we waited for the Big Wu to start things off at eleven but we ran into some of my old college buddies, Steven Herman and Kyle Barton. I guess they always meet at the same spot at the Miller Oasis and I was just lucky enough to stumble across them. We had a couple beers and caught up with each other. It was good to see them again. Then around nine we decided to take a lap around the fest. Once we made it around the huge line of people waiting to get into Prince we were able to double back to our stage and see the ekoostik hookah. ek was, eh, and they played up until the fireworks. After the big bang we did the hippie bounce to the Wu and felt old until midnight and went home.

Friday the acts at ‘fest weren’t that good but more importantly I wasn’t able to get my wristband so I couldn’t get in for free. Instead of spending tons of cash at Summerfest I decided to meet J after work at the Wicked Hop and spend tons of cash there. We had a slew of different beers and some food. We sample beers there until eleven and then swayed home to get some sleep for Kondofest on Sat.

Saturday was the annual Kondofest party. I have to admit that overall you can see that the ol’ wreckin’ crew is getting older and a little more docile. Don’t get me wrong here, the day still had the usual yard nomads wandering around playing boce ball, 3 hours of volleyball, and some quarters. It also lacked the beer bong and casual chug off that in the past made barrels, plural, evaporate. It could be that in their old age people just prefer the mixers and that’s why only one barrel was enough for the crew. Either way, I still had a good time and got to head butt a girl in the face while putting my Swisher Sweet out on her cheek. That’s what she get for trying to D up the big dog on the blacktop. Once Kondofest was finished everyone headed downtown as usual. This year I split from the group because everyone and their mother were going to see O.A.R. and I wasn’t going to deal with the massive crowd. After stopping for some unneeded liquor at the store Marti, Graham and I went back to my place. While there we proceeded to drink Captain and Captains as well as Gin and Gin drinks. We played some Euchre listened to some tunes and got ready to go to the Metro. This unnecessary trip turned out to be a haze so I have to stop my story here. I know we met up with Delahunt and some other people from the party but that’s all I can tell you. I know there was a heated political discussion and a hefty charge on my credit card so it must’ve been fun.

Sunday, rest and relaxation. Monday since J had to work I went to ‘fest solo to see Dark Star Orchestra. They jammed as usual and nothing beats free! Part II soon!