It’s Where the Water Animals Play

I had a full week these past couple days. It started out on Tuesday with the buckethead game, Crew v. Cubs. I had gotten these tickets about a month ago and was looking forward to my first buckethead game of the year, boy was I disappointed. When we got to our seats I thought we would be in the only Chub free section in Miller Park, we were so wrong! Somehow the damn Cubs fans were even in the buckethead section so we still had to put up with the stuck up, no baseball intellect, snobs. The game was awful too. Ben Sheets was pitching and got shelled the first couple innings. We were down 6-0 in the sixth and I was sick of hearing cheers for Chicago so I did the unthinkable and actually left the game early. This is unlike me but when you’re essentially in an away stadium it is no fun watching the other fans gloat. Cubs fans are by far the biggest gloaters and biggest whiners in the majors so I was out. No fun, even worse game. Something has to be done about these Cubs games to get the Cubs fans out of OUR home park.

Thursday was Jazz in the Park. J and I hadn’t been there in a while so we decided we really needed to make an appearance. We went a little later than usual so we weren’t able to get our regular spot at stage left. We managed to find a spot stage right and we plunked our chairs down and got one of our four bottles of Jazz in the Park wine. Later on L and his girlie showed up so we had someone friends to hang out with and take in some good tunes.

Friday was quite the day. Jocelyn had planned this getaway weekend for my birthday (not to late for you to send presents). She had me pack a back the night before and said that we were going somewhere a half hour away. I kept telling her to just tell me where we’re going because there is no place a half hour from Milwaukee that I want to spend the night. No matter how much I begged she wouldn’t tell me so I had to wait until after work. She picked me up after work and we were on our way. This whole surprise thing really put me in a bad mood and I was straight pissed for the entire ride. Finally we got to my bud Delahunt’s house and the secret was finally revealed, we were going to the Dells with D and Steph to celebrate the men’s birthdays. The reason Jocelyn said a half hour away was because I actually guessed where we were going the week before. So we packed up the Montero and we were off to WI-Dells. A couple hours later we arrived and checked into our motel just off the downtown strip. We had a couple adult beverages in our rooms and hung out. Then we met a group of guys in another room from Manitowoc. They asked us if we wanted to go by the pool and play some drinking Jenga and of course we said yes. So we sat around the pool until about nine when we decided to go get a bit to eat. We went to the Riverwalk bar that was right by our motel. It was a nice new lodge-type place. We ordered some drinks and got some grub. The food and drink were both cheap and very good, we would be back. After a couple games of darts and some jager bombs we went up to Nig’s on the strip. We sat there, had a couple and talked dumb. As part of my b-day present J got me a “I Had A Swig At Nig’s” shirt. D and I were getting antsy at Nig’s so we took off to go a different bar while the girls finished their drinks. D and I went to the Sandbar and had a beer there and shot some pool. We ran into a couple locals and shot the breeze with them for a bit. Then we realized we should probably go to the bar that we told the girls we would meet them at. So we headed to the Showboat and met the ladies. Not only were the ladies there but the group of guys from the motel were there too so we all had some drinks and sang karaoke. D and Steph went home at about one but I had to stay and sing “Ring of Fire” so we stayed until twoish and then headed back.

Saturday we woke up at about eight and got ready for Noah’s Ark. We arrived at the park about ten which I guess is the ideal time to go to NA. The longest line that we stood in was maybe fifteen minutes. The weather was sunny and in the mid-80s so we had a perfect day. We got to go on all the slides we wanted to before noon and then we had lunch in the parking lot. We ate our sandwiches and headed back in but the park got really crowded and the lines turned into an hour fifteen wait time. We didn’t feel like standing in line so we headed to the lazy river and floated around for an hour. Once we were done with that we decided to call it a day at NA. We dried off and decided to take a ride on the army ducks. We took the hour tour. It had been a long time since I’ve taken the tour so it was fun to see the rock formations and cruise around on the duck. It was fun but the end was lame when the driver tried to sell us postcards and asked for tips. Then they tried to peddle a $17 dollar picture to us. That really stunk considering we just paid $20 to go on an hour ride. It was a small hiccup in an otherwise perfect weekend. After the ducks we went back to the motel and showered up and took a nap. We woke up around seven and took one of our eighty acquired Moose Jaw Pizza coupons and went to go get some dinner. It was crowded so we had to wait at the bar. While there I thought I would make the most of it so I ordered their 10 point buck sampler which was 10 – 5 oz. samples of their brews. We had some pizza and my sampler and it was all very good. From there we headed back to the motel to relax some more. We decided to go bar to the Riverwalk bar and play it low key. Once we got there we all hit a brick wall and we just couldn’t stay out. We ended up heading home around 10:30 and calling it a night. We all had too much excitement for one day.

Sunday we got up early again and checked out of the motel. From there we went to Paul Bunyan’s all-u-can-eat family style breakfast. The breakfast was only about $8 a person and was tasty for being served in army mess hall fashion. From there we cruised back to MKE and went to the Brewers game to wrap up the day. We got free tickets from Craig and the weather was perfect so what better way to wrap up our weekend. The Crew won in the bottom of the 9th and the weekend was officially demeaned perfect. Thanks to J and Steph for the planning and thanks to Mother Nature for summer, finally!

It’s My Rheumatoid Arthritis

This weekend was very much a carbon copy of last weekend. I had the relaxing Friday followed up by the Saturday that more than made up for me staying in the night before. On Friday I was going to go out but after lounging around and getting comfy on the couch I decided that I was going to stay in and get some sleep.

Saturday I got together with a boat load of my friends and we played that wonderful childhood game, kickball. J was at Angie Sampson’s bridal shower in Madison so I was flying solo. Kickball was a good time except that instead of playing normal three outs rules we played the “everyone wins” rules. With these rules everyone in the line-up gets to kick once an inning and the first out after the last batter ends the inning. I hate these new fangled “Johnny needs as much time on field as Timmy” rules but the gym teacher we had on hand insisted playing by these rules. These bunk rules didn’t prevent any of us from having a good time. I was pitcher and my wicked spinner and medium bouncer were unkickable. Surprisingly nobody injured anything. I did injure a couple feelings with my unbelievable pitching. I did also hit one of the girls square in the face with a rocket that I threw trying to throw someone out. She really wasn’t playing attention and after the guy swerved out of the way the only thing that was there to stop it was her face, sorry Lauren! After kickball we headed over to the volleyball court where my team got their asses handed to them by the ringer team. They were in league and I was drunk so it wasn’t even close to fair. I headed home about 6:30 to catch COPS for the second consecutive week. I washed up and caught a quick nap. The only thing I shouldn’t have done during this time was woke up but my lunatic friends kept calling me and finally drug me out for an unnecessary night on the town. After a couple games of pres-ass at Lauren’s we went to Flannery’s and then to the Lodge. We did the normal bar stuff, the stand and drink, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Sunday was vicious on the legs and groin. All those muscles that have atrophied throughout the years got used to the extreme and the only way they could fight back was hurt. I still can’t walk normally but hopefully by next week’s post I’ll be back in my normal atrophied state.

No Strings Attached

This weekend I actually got to stay in Milwaukee and do whatever I wished. There was no Summerfest, baseball games, birthdays, concerts or anything else that I had to bind to. Friday I stayed in and built a computer for my parents. J and I kind of watched a movie while I drank a couple gin and tonics and built the computer. Nothing exciting but I got to sit at home for a change.

Saturday J and I went to the Milwaukee Ale House to see KB from WLKH play and watch the Brewer game. We sat and had some beers and watched the Crew get trounced by the Cincinnati. Then Luedke and Wians showed up and things took a turn for the worse, we started drinking at more of a rapid pace. I brought some cards along so we played some euchre and ordered some apps. We stayed there until about 6:30. At that time I had to run home and watch COPS which I haven’t seen in about two months. Once back at my place L, A and I played some cribbage, drank some stiffies, and watched the white trash get tasered. Everyone was having a good time until J threw me her phone and I missed it. The thing bounced off my hand into a glass of water. We tried to get it to work but the thing wouldn’t turn on so she was a little pissy for a couple hours, I can’t blame her but it really wasn’t my fault. Luedke tried to smooth over the situation with his anecdote on how he washed his phone and the thing finally turned on after couple days. When we finished up our final cribbage game we headed to Flannery’s for a couple drinks. We decided after a bit we needed a change of atmosphere and cheaper drinks so we went to My Office. We played a round of Golden Tee and hung out with our people, the downtrodden, outcasts who like cheap drinks. At oneish we headed to Mykano’s to top off the night with some gyros. Nothing beats the Sunday gyro mouth, that wonderful taste of cucumber sauce and onions that no matter how much you brush or gargle seems to stay with you. Another weekend over. For those of you wondering, Jocelyn’s phone started working again on Sunday a la Luedke’s experience and prediction, he truly is a guru.

Wastin’ Away Again In East Troy

I thought now that ‘fest was over I was going to get some much needed rest but no such luck. Since almost everyone had Monday off we did some pre-planning and bought some tickets to the Brewers v. Cubs on the day after the 4th. The game was fun and went as expected. We got drunk and watched the Brew crew beat the Cubs with a first inning Counsell homerun. What I didn’t expect was buying tickets to the next two games on drunken whim. So I ended up going to the next two games as well. The games were not the drunken debauchery that one is used to but they were still too much fun to explain. Why can I not explain the games you may ask? Because there is no better feeling than sweeping the Cubs right out of Miller Park and back across the southern border of Wisconsin. [INSERT FAVORITE EXPLATIVE] THE CUBS!. Thursday was finally a well deserved day of rest.

Friday we headed back to Miller Park to see Brewers v. Reds. The main reason we went was because of the Beer Pen tickets. $10 for a t-shirt and a ticket is a great deal. It’s my second such shirt but can anyone really have too many t-shirts. J and I went to the game with Delahunt and Steph so we had our drinking buddies. We hung out and drank up a couple of Wisconsin’s largest jager bombs. The game was awful and I have to say one of the worst games I saw of the year. We ended up staying at TGIF until one drinking yards. That was way too long because I was able to snatch up a couple Jimmy Buffett tickets on eBay so we had to be prepared to be waste away again tomorrow.

Saturday was a perfect day. It was the first summer day I think we had all year. Mid to high 80s with plenty of sun. We left for the show about one. We met Jocelyn’s boss from the Sports Dock in a Wal-Mart parking lot outside of East Troy so we could park together at Alpine. Once at Alpine we set up camp and did tons of people watching. People watching is always half of the experience and this concert was no exception. To our right there was a passed out fifteen year old who had too many margaritas with his mom and now she was taking care of him. To our back there were some guys that had a weed whacker blender with a sombrero and hula skirt on the blender. Once we scoped out the lot we settled in and got to the eating and drinking. Jocelyn’s boss and her husband were all kinds of fun. Besides those two there were two other guys who were friends of theirs. Gina’s (Jocelyn’s boss) husband is a cop and one of the other guys was a detective. They had some great stories. Gina’s husband was also a professional water skier in the Dells for a time so he had some amusing stories about that whole era in his life. We smoked some priemo cigars he brought, ate tons of gourmet food and of course had some margaritas. Finally it was time to go into the concert and we must’ve lost track of time because we missed the first set. Well, we lost track of time and I had trouble getting in. First I got caught with a water bottle (full of hooch) so I couldn’t bring that in. J was already in so I heaved it to her over the fence so I didn’t have that item to deal with anymore. Then I went through again and they found the camera in my pocket. I didn’t even know I still had the thing. Obviously I’m not going to throw a digital camera away so I yelled to J that I was going to throw it back on the bus. Saying this kind of confused J because we didn’t come in a bus. But me being ever observant and an uber trickster I ran to the buses right by the gate and shoved the camera in my unmentionable region so they would find it. Yea, I know I’m tricky, even slyer when I really don’t know what’s going on. So we finally got in. J and I grabbed a couple of sodas and headed to our seats to catch the rest of the show. The show was great as expected! The only hitch from here on out was the fifteen bucks I got charged for two large cups of ice. The lady made me buy water to fill the large cups so the ice was covered. That was a small hitch because the whole Buffett atmosphere is always so positive that really nothing can bring you down. So once the show was over we headed back to the parking lot and had some more to eat. I played with a hula hoop that I found in the parking lot and we listened to some Buffett tunes to keep the party going. We finally left the parking lot around one and got home at two safe and sound. Another successful trip to Alpine.

Color Me Exhausted

I believe I left off on the Tuesday of ‘fest. Tuesday J and I were going to go see the Midwest Operas stirring rendition of Pink Floyd’s The Wall and then go to see Kenny Wayne Shepard. We made it down to the fest ground in plenty of time and got a good seat for what we thought was going to be a cover band doing Floyd. Instead it was absolutely the worst thing I’ve seen in my life. We weren’t the only ones that thought that this “rock opera” was going to be worth watching because there were tons of hippies waiting to see them as well. Since the hippies had their senses dulled/heightened they couldn’t process how much this rock opera sucked. J and I as well as handful of people were able to determine how awful they were in about two minutes. So we left which really threw a wrench into our plans because now we had 3 hours to kill before KWS. So we decided to walk to get a beer and I ran into my good pal Gregory. He and his woman were down for the night. In the process of getting the beer we learned that you didn’t need a wristband to get into the main stage. J and Greg’s woman both loved Jessica Simpson so we did what any whipped man would do, take them to their free concert and then hold it over their head that we went to the JS concert. We sat there for a couple hours and watched the concert. I think Greg and I were watching different things on stage than the rest of the audience so we were able to block out the music and prepubescent screaming. After that was over we headed on home.

Thursday was our next day and was going to be the last. I biked down to the grounds and got wristbands to see The Bodeans and Steve Miller. We headed down to grounds pretty early and grabbed a bite to eat before the show. We went in and got some pretty good seats for the show. The Bodeans put on a really good show. I’ve seen then a couple times at Lakefest in Sheboygan but I can honestly say I don’t “remember” seeing them there. We then stayed for a handful of the Steve Miller songs. It was getting late so we headed out of the concert. On our way out we got to check out Paul Oakenfold. We watched him for a bit, admired the trance scene and glow sticks, and then started home again. On the way home we ran into another stage and heard Peter Frampton doing “Do You Feel Like We Do.” No true rock n’ roll fan could pass that up so we had to stop and listen to that. Finally we got out of there and made it home.

Friday I went to a house warming party at my buddy Chappy’s new place. It was going to be a “couple beers” night. Then we got playing darts, drinking beers, and talking stupid so I ended up going to Rosie’s with the entire crew. We got to check out some crazy dude with wings on that was completely out of place in the Rosie’s. I guess that are no real good bars in Milwaukee where you can walk around and wear your wings.

Saturday J and I woke up early. We had to drive to Rockford for my college roomie Harv’s wedding. We got to Rockford and the weather was just awful. Lucky for us the wedding was outside. We dropped our stuff off in the hotel and met up with the rest of the clan who was also staying there. We all hung out in the hotel room for a couple hours and had a couple CCs. Once we got ready, gathered the group and got going we realized we were going to be a little late. Lucky for us a humongous thunderstorm delayed the whole wedding. The wedding was supposed to be in a botanical gardens area but instead it was held in a tent. Lucky for us we all got poured on and got to sit through the entire wedding drenched to our nether regions. The wedding was nice but none of us could hear any of it because the rain was hitting so hard on the top of tent. After the wedding was over and we were on our way out, it cleared up, of course. The whole crew headed to Oscar’s Sports bar for a drink before the reception. After that drink we all headed to the reception. It was a nice reception, small, but nice. The meal was also very different than most weddings. The meal was six different types of pasta dishes. They were very good. Not as good as the merlot though. I myself accounted for at least three empty bottles of merlot, one of those glasses being on the front of my shirt. Towards the end we tried to get some shots of Jameson for the ol’ college buddies to salute our fallen soldier. The damn place wouldn’t sell any shots so instead we got a couple tumblers of whiskey and some cups (it wasn’t that easy but for the sake of me typing it it was). So we had a toast to Harv our man, congrats buddy! From there some of us went back to Oscar’s while some of us went to Culvers (a whole story behind that one but I want to keep it PG). We then all eventually made it to Oscar’s. A couple people were only there in person and really don’t remember it, I was not one. We had a good time. Drank some liters of beer and acted dumb in our dress clothes. From there we headed back to the hotel. I know we were up late but I really don’t know what we did there. I remember Adam jumping on the aerobed from a chair. Actually I remember pushing him off the chair onto the aerobed. I know we acted like rockstars until 4:30 in the morning and the hotel room looked like it when we woke up. It was so much fun though. It was great to hang out with the old college roomies again. We woke up Sunday and drove home.

We got home Sunday and it was going to be a nothing day. Sleep, sleep, and more sleep. I had Monday off for the holiday so I was going to recoop from the craziness of ‘fest. So when we got home I was biking to Chipotle to pick up burritos (it was closed for the dumb holiday) when I happened to run into the old Evans Scholars. For those of you who don’t know the scholars I can describe them as this. Golf Caddies who got full rides through college; they live the frat lifestyle when they aren’t in an “actual” frat; they’re all drunks; they travel in large packs; I always run into them, even in different states, and I’m an honorary member. So on my way to get a burrito I ran into them once again a block from my house drinking and partying. My relaxing day went from sleeping to getting drunk again. I went home dropped off my bike and went down by the scholars. I spent the better part of four hours playing lawn darts, drinking beer, doing jello shots, and acting stupid. Most of the scholars were heading down to the last day of ‘fest to see Tim McGraw. I not being a country music fan took the scholars’ fearless leader Boyd and we went down to ‘fest to see Pat McCurdy. So once we got down there there was one little problem. McCurdy plays every day of Summerfest but the last one. So we just sat around and watched the water video show which was actually very cool and amazed the amazing Boyd. Finally it was late and I was too tired so we headed home. J and Boyd met the other scholars for a drink but I went home to lay down and actually rest a bit. The weekend was finally over. Little did I know I had three Brewers games to go to the next three days, but more on that later.